


We Keep Living Anyway

by justabrain



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Data dealing with emotions, Data's emotion chip, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Post-Star Trek: Generations, Protective Geordi, eventually, riker is only there by necessity of him being the first officer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 07:43:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7926358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justabrain/pseuds/justabrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When an unexpected tragedy makes Data turn off his emotion chip, Geordi tries to convince him to turn it back on. But when the Enterprise is put in danger, will Data ever have the chance to feel again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1

It had been laughably routine, really. Normally Captain Picard would have simply told Geordi and Commander Riker to assemble an away team with an “I’ll be in my ready room if I’m needed.” But, the captain had been, in his own words, getting “stir crazy”. He had insisted on leading the team, comprised of Data, Worf, and two other science officers, to the surface. The class M planet had shown no signs of seismic activity, and the canyon had appeared stable. Nobody was expecting the edge of the cliff to give way under the captain’s feet to send him tumbling 43 meters to the rocky ground below. Doctor Crusher was not expecting to have to perform emergency surgery. Commander Riker was not expecting to have to give his captain’s eulogy, then command the Enterprise back to a starbase. Nobody had expected it, and yet it was a constant risk, regardless of one’s rank. Death does not discriminate.

  

——

 

“… the privilege of serving as his first officer for almost a decade, and in that time, Captain Picard was constantly pushing me to become a better starfleet officer, a better first officer, and a better _person_ than I ever thought possible. He always had words of wisdom, often quoted from some obscure Shakespeare work.” That brought smiles. “We will always miss him, and the Enterprise will be emptier without him, but Captain Jean-Luc Picard leaves this world in a _much_ better state than it was before.” Commander Riker took a step forward and placed his hand on the black, reflective metal of the torpedo casing. “Thank you,” he said softly. Half a second passed, and he stepped back to attention.   

An ensign from Engineering brought a whistle to her lips, and Geordi glanced at Data out of the corner of his eye. Seeing the blank expression on his friend’s face, he leaned towards him. “Data? You okay?” he whispered, hoping against hope that the android hadn’t turned off his emotion chip.

“Yes, Geordi, I am fine,” Data replied quietly, his voice even.

Geordi’s heart sank, but he turned his attention back to the ceremony, where the capsule had just started moving. Slowly, it passed by the crew, until its engines ignited in a burst of harmless radiation as it broke through the forcefield. The room was quiet for a few moments, as they all watched it grow smaller and smaller until it could no longer be distinguished from the blackness of the space around it.


	2. Day 2

“Geordi?”

“Yeah, Data?” Geordi replied, pressing the button for the turbolift.

“At the burial yesterday, you asked if I was all right. Why?”

Geordi sighed. “I wanted to know if you had turned off your emotion chip.”

“Yes, I have. Is that a problem?”

“No, I just…” The doors opened, and the pair stepped in. “Main Engineering. Are you going to turn it back on?”

“I am not planning to.”

Geordi’s gut twisted, more than he expected. “Why not?”

Data cocked his head. “Why should I voluntarily turn my emotions _on_ , when I know that it will only be negative emotions that I will feel? Is it not human to avoid pain and negative emotions?”

“Well, yeah, but…” The doors slid open again. “Look, Data, go talk to Counselor Troi. I can’t help you with this; she can. I need to do that diagnostic Captain P—” Geordi set his jaw. “I have a diagnostic I need to do.”

 

——

 

Stepping up to Counselor Troi’s door, Data pressed a button on the wall. Less than a second passed before, “Come in!”

The door slid open, and Data entered to see Troi setting down a pad she had been reading. “Data, you’re early,” she said, standing. “What’s the occasion?”

“I wish to ask you a question, Counselor."

“Of course. Why don’t you have a seat?” She gestured to the couch. The table in front of it sported its usual decor, with the addition of a box of tissues. Suddenly she looked at him. “Data… I’m not sensing anything from you. Did you turn off your emotion chip?”

Data perched on the couch. “Yes; that is what I would like to talk to you about. Earlier today, Geordi asked me if I was going to turn it back on. When I said I had not been planning to, he seemed concerned. Why?”

“Well, he’s been helping you develop your emotions on the holodeck, right? All the progress you’ve made would be wasted if you never turned the chip back on.”

“So it is for selfish reasons that he wants me to use it?”

“No, Data, you misunderstand me. He wants you to grow and become more human, as do I. I was hoping that you would be able to face this tragedy and accept it, both factually and emotionally.”

Data’s brows furrowed. “Captain Picard is dead. What else is there to accept?”

“You need to let your emotions work through it. If you don’t, you’ll be stuck with a degree of denial until you do. It's not emotionally healthy."

Data thought for a moment and stood. "Thank you, Counselor, you have been quite helpful," he said, starting towards the door. "However, I am an android. I am always 'healthy'."

“Hold on a minute, Data.”

He turned back to face her. “Yes?”

Counselor Troi paused. “Do you remember after the Enterprise crashed on Viridian III? You and I were going through the rubble, and you found Spot. Do you remember what that felt like?"

"Yes, Counselor. I was happy."

"You weren't just happy, Data. You were so overjoyed that you cried. You're willing to miss out on ever experiencing more emotions like that because you don't want to deal with the Captain's death?"

“My decision is quite logical,” Data reasoned, returning to the couch. “Enabling my emotion chip at this point in time would compromise my ability to do my duties. The Captain would want me performing my duties to the best of my abilities.”

"He would also still want you to grow and develop your emotions."

Data shook his head. "The benefits of doing so do not seem to outweigh the pain it would no doubt cause."

Counselor Troi sighed. "Data, feeling pain is part of being human. You can't choose to experience the good parts, the joy and excitement, and then refuse the hurt and sadness. As much as it will hurt to confront this reality – and it will hurt, I won't lie to you and say otherwise– as much as it will hurt, you'll feel just as much joy in the future. Not surrounding Captain Picard's death, but in other areas. In you and Geordi's relationship, for example. He's told me how worried he is and how much it would mean to him if you turned your emotion chip back on."

Data was silent for a moment. "Why did he not tell me these things himself?"

"That's something you'll have to ask him. Likely, he didn't want to put even more pressure on you."

"Huh. Thank you, Counselor," he said, again standing.

Counselor Troi stood as well this time. "Think about it, Data, alright?"

"Yes, Counselor." The door slid shut behind him.

 

——

 

Ten forward was unusually subdued. Most people were just sitting quietly, many looking out through the windows. No joking laughter could be heard, or games, or people meeting for the first time. It was just… quiet.

“Another bad date?” came Guinan’s soft voice from behind Geordi, drawing his attention away from the stars.

Geordi half smiled, but it quickly fell from his face. “Not this time. I wish it was, that would be easier than this.” 

“Oh?” Guinan prompted, sitting across from him, effectively blocking his view.

“It’s Data,” he said with a sigh. “We had been making so much progress, experiencing different emotions and dealing with them and then…” He shook his head. “And then a real test came and he’s had it turned off since before the funeral.” 

“Have you talked to him about it?”

“I didn’t know what to say! I just… told him to go talk to Counselor Troi. She’s better at that sort of thing.”

“Huh,” Guinan said, dropping her gaze to Geordi’s drink.

“What?”

Guinan was quiet for another moment. “Geordi, Data trusts you. Probably more than anyone else on the ship.”

Geordi blinked and sat up straighter. “What makes you say that?”

“Well, you’re the only one he allows to work on his matrix, for one.”

“Yeah, well, I’m the chief engineer, that makes sense.”

Guinan continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “You’ve been the one he’s let work with him on emotions. He trusted you to take care of the emotion chip when he wasn't ready for it --"

“Ok, ok, I get it. What does that have to do with my situation now?”

“You’re not going to willingly break down and cry in front of someone you don’t trust, are you?”

“No…?”

Guinan leaned forward. “Neither will he. Enjoy the rest of your drink,” she said with a smile, and she stood and walked back to the bar.


	3. Day 3

Rinsing his brush in a pot of water, Data considered what color to next add to his painting. As he blurred some green and blue together, the door buzzed. "Come in." As the door slid open, he glanced up. “Good morning, Geordi. I was not expecting you."

"Hey, Data, I need to talk to you." Geordi stepped into the room, and with a quiet whoosh, the door slid shut again. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Look, when, er, if you turn your emotion chip back on, if you want someone there..."

Data set down his palette. "Thank you, Geordi. As you suggested, I talked to Counselor Troi. She did make a compelling argument; however, I am unsure as to my course of action."

Geordi stepped toward him. "Well, if you need to talk–"

Suddenly the ship lurched, and Geordi stumbled, falling to the floor.

"Geordi! Are you alright?" Data asked, kneeling next to him.

"I'm fi–"

Geordi was cut off by Commander Riker’s voice over the comms. “Battle stations!"

 

——

 

The ship rocked again, and Geordi steadied himself against the open door of the turbolift as he and Data stepped onto the bridge. He glanced at the viewscreen. Cardassians.

“Will somebody tell me how the hell their weapons are cutting right through our shields like that?” Riker demanded from the captain’s chair.

Worf shook his head. “It does not make any sense. Our shields should be fully protecting us.”

Sitting at the engineering station, Geordi examined the readings. “This is weird… Commander, I’m reading some sort of radiation coming from their weapons.”

“Agreed,” Data said from ops.

“Can you identify it, Data?”

“The readings most closely resemble that of kinoplasmic radiation. The radiation is affecting the main computer, and thus the effectiveness of the shields.”

As if to emphasize Data’s statement, the Enterprise again shook at a blast from the Cardassian weapon.

Riker braced himself against the back of Data’s chair. “ _Kinoplasmic?_ Since when do the Cardassians have that kind of technology?”

“Unknown,” Data replied with a shake of his head.

“Hull integrity at 55%,” Worf warned.

“Commander, if I go down to Engineering, I might be able to reroute some of the subprocessors,” Geordi said, turning away from the console. “It’ll be a temporary fix, but it should hold together long enough for us to get out of this.”

“Go. Mr. Worf, ready phasers. It’s time they left.”

“Ready and locked on target, Commander.”

“Fire!”

The phasers fired, followed immediately by another blast that rocked the ship. 

Riker whipped around to face Worf. “I thought you said they were locked on target.”

“They were—”

“Then _why did they miss?_ ”

“Commander, I believe the weapon’s radiation is affecting our sensors and targeting system,” Data explained.

Riker turned back to face Worf. “Can you target them manually?”

“I believe so.”

“Then—” The ship quaked again. “—do it!”

“Laforge to Riker,” came Geordi’s voice over the comms. “That last one hit Engineering. The radiation levels are too high; we have to evacuate.”

“Acknowledged. Did you finish rerouting the computer?”

“No, sir, we didn’t have time.”

“Commander, hull integrity down to 35%. Phasers are having a minimal effect.”

“Switch to photon torpedoes. Full spread, maximum yield.”

“Firing. Their shields are down to 50%. They are withdrawing.” 

“Thin skinned for Cardassians,” Riker muttered.

Worf leaned forward on the tactical station. “It may be a trap and they _want_ us to follow so they can ambush us.”

“Sensors are not reading any other Cardassian ships in the area,” Data countered.

“Could the radiation be obstructing our sensors?”

Data shook his head. “Unlikely. I did not read any other ships before the radiation started affecting the computer.”

Riker sighed. “I don’t know who these people are, but they sure aren’t acting like Cardassians. Damage report, Mr. Worf?”

“Minor hull damage, but reports are coming in of the computer acting strangely.”

The turbolift door slid open, and Geordi stepped onto the bridge. “We were able to reroute life support and basic helm controls, but that’s about it, Commander. With so much of the computer core down there, the radiation was so concentrated it was getting hard to see by the time we evacuated.”

“Is there any way you can repair it from up here?”

“I can try, but no guarantees.”

Riker nodded, as Geordi returned to an engineering station. “Casualties, Mr. Worf?”

“Minor injuries all over the ship. Sickbay is reporting nothing serious.”

“Commander, we have another problem,” Geordi interrupted. “A warp core breach in progress; we need to eject the warp core.”

“Computer, prepare to eject the warp core, authorization Riker-gamma-4-2.”

The computer didn’t respond. 

“Computer, prepare to eject the warp core,” he repeated.

Data looked up from the console. “I believe the radiation is preventing the computer from accepting vocal commands. The core will have to be ejected manually.”

“I see.” Riker stood. “Mr. Data, you have the bridge.”

Data stood as well. “Commander, I must object. As your acting first officer, I cannot permit you to put yourself in danger. I should go; I will not be affected by the plasma radiation.”

Geordi spun to face his friend. "Data, by the time we evacuated, the consoles in Engineering were sparking from all the kinoplasmic radiation! It's no safer for you than for any of us."

"Even if the radiation affects my systems, I may be able to be repaired. I must go; we are running out of time.”

Riker nodded, grim. "Go."

Geordi looked back at the console. “Full warp core breach in 90 seconds. Commander, sensors can't get through the radiation. We'll have no way to tell how he's doing."

"Is there any way we can slow it down from up here?"

“No, I don’t think so. If I was in Engineering, maybe, but not from up here.”

“Do what you can. Mr. Worf, initiate emergency evacuation procedures.

“Ay, sir.”

“Data, status?”

“I have just arrived at Engineering. I am entering now.”

“How much time does he have left, Geordi?”

“Thirty seconds. I tried rerouting power to containment, but it didn’t help much.”

“Keep trying. Helm, set the escape pods for Starbase 92, and engage full impulse power in the opposite direction. Worf, hail the starbase and let them know what happened.”

Worf’s console beeped. “First escape pods are leaving now. Sir, Starbase 92 is still quite a ways away.”

“If Data manages to eject the warp core, we won’t have to worry about that. Time, Geordi?”

“Fifteen seconds. Come on, Data…”

“Mr. Worf, how many pods have been ejected?”

“Twenty-two and counting, sir.”

“We’ll have to hope they’re far enough away.”

“Five seconds, Commander. Four, Three— Warp core has been successfully ejected!”

With a sigh of relief, Riker sat. “I’m glad we don’t have to test that hope. Riker to Data.”

There was no reply. Geordi’s mouth went dry.

"Riker to Data, respond," Riker repeated. 

Silence.

Geordi swallowed. “The, uh, weapons must still be affecting the ship," he reassured. "We'd have to get into Engineering to vent the rest of the radiation. Data might be doing that now, but the longer he's in there the more it's going to affect him."

Riker thought for a moment. "Geordi, Worf, put on radiation suits and beam into Engineering. Get Data out of there and vent the radiation."

"Yes, sir," Geordi said, standing and heading for the turbolift.

"Oh and Geordi? Tell him thank you."

"Will do, sir."

 

——

 

Geordi looked over at Worf as Worf slowly joined him on the transporter pad, the bulkiness of the suit impeding his movement. 

"I can get you in there," O'Brien cautioned, "but I won't be able to get you out until that radiation is mostly gone."

"Understood," Worf replied, turning to face the chief. "Energize."

When Geordi and Worf rematerialized, they found themselves standing in front of the warp core. Well, where the warp core used to be.

“Ugh, it’s even worse in here than it was before. I can hardly see with all this radiation,” Geordi said, waving his hand in front of his face in a futile attempt to clear some of it away. “Worf, work on venting the radiation. I’m going to find Data.”

“Aye, sir.”

Letting out a measured breath, Geordi turned to the rest of Engineering. “Data? You there?” There was no response. “Well at least it wasn’t a problem with the comms,” he said to himself. Carefully, he made his way around the shell of the core, his gloved hand skimming the railing as he scanned the room for Data’s glow. 

Suddenly Geordi’s foot hit something, and he stumbled. Glancing down, his heart sank. “Data. Worf, I found him!” Geordi knelt. “Oh, Data, what happened to you?” he whispered, examining him. The glow of his positronic net was almost completely gone, and his hands showed charged particle residue. “Worf!” he called again.

A muted and distorted figure approached. “I am here. The radiation should be dissipating. Chief O’Brien will be able to beam us out soon. How is he?”

“Not good. Laforge to Sickbay.”

His suit’s comm signal crackled to life. “Crusher here, go ahead. I can barely hear you.”

“Data has been disabled. I don’t know how bad the damage is yet. I’ll need to look at him in Sickbay to be able to tell, but his skin is completely irradiated. We’re going to need to beam him out of here and into isolation as soon as possible.”

“Understood. Crusher out.”

“Hang on, Data, we’re going to get you out of here. Laforge to O’Brien.”

“O’Brien here.”

“Can you get a lock on Data yet?”

“I can try. There’s still a lot of interference from the radiation though. I’ll need you and Lieutenant Worf to leave some space so I can make sure I only get his signal.”

After a pause, Geordi stood and joined Worf where he was standing, a few feet away. “Ok, you should have a clear shot. Energize.”

As the energy of the transporter enveloped Data, Geordi started to relax. The worst of the danger was over. 

 

——

 

The Sickbay doors quietly slid closed behind Counselor Troi as she stepped into Dr. Crusher’s office.

“How is he?” she asked, stepping up behind her.

Crusher gazed out through the glass at the operating table where Geordi sat, bent over Data’s body. “Data or Geordi?” she replied with a sigh.

“Both.”

“Well, we got the radiation out from Data’s body and his matrix, but there’s still some damage from how long he was in Engineering. There were some other engineers here working on him as well, but they left. Whether they left because they were tired or Geordi sent them away…” She shrugged and shook her head.

“And how is Geordi?”

“He’s been in here since he and Worf got Data out. He hasn’t even been down to Engineering to see how the repairs are going. I brought him some food, but he barely picked at it. I just don’t know what to do, Deanna. I’ve tried to help, but every time I do, I seem to just get in his way.”

“I see. Do you mind if I speak to him?”

“Go ahead. I don’t know how receptive he’ll be though.”

“Thank you.” As she stepped out of the doctor’s office, Troi let her mind reach out to Geordi’s. _Pain. Desperation._ Softly, she approached the operating table. “Geordi? How are you doing?”

“I’m fine. Could you pass me the, uh, the tricorder?”

Picking it up, she held it for a moment. “Geordi, you need to rest. Doctor Crusher says you’ve been here since you found him in Engineering. That was sixteen hours ago. You need to sleep. Data will still be here in the morning, and you’ll be able to concentrate better once you get a good night’s sleep.”

“That’s assuming I _would_ get a good night’s sleep,” he muttered, still looking at Data’s exposed neural pathways

“I’m sorry?”

Geordi sighed and leaned back. “Nothing. I just don’t think I’d be able to sleep very well knowing Data’s like this and that I can help him.”

“I know it’s hard—”

Setting his jaw, he turned to face her. “Do you? Do you _really_ know what it’s like? To have someone who you’ve known for almost a decade, who feels like they’re the part of you that you never realized was missing, to have them almost die because _you let them?”_

Troi was quiet. “No, I suppose I haven’t felt that first hand. But I can feel what you’re going through. And I can feel that you’re exhausted. Go to bed, Geordi. Dr. Crusher can give you something to help you sleep if you need it.”

“Fine. I just have one more idea I need to try. Can I have that tricorder?” After a moment of hesitation, she handed it to him. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” Troi watched as Geordi turned back to examine the slowly blinking lights of Data’s matrix. Running the tricorder over him, Geordi reached for a probe from the tray nearby. 

“Good night, Geordi.”

Geordi didn’t look up. “Alright Data, work with me here,” he said quietly. “I have another idea we can try…”


	4. Day 4

The next morning, Dr Crusher walked into Sickbay, and her shoulders dropped. “Geordi, have you been up here all night?”

“I just had one more thing I needed to try… Wait, what time is it?”

“It’s 0700 hours!” 

Geordi groaned. “Commander Riker wanted me to do a diagnostic in Engineering.” 

Placing her hand on his shoulder, she gently pried a tool from Geordi’s hands. “Commander Riker has given you some time off. Engineering will get by without you for a few days.” 

Leaning back into the chair, Geordi let his hands fall into his lap. “I just don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried everything I can think of and then some.”

“Maybe you should take a break. You might think of something then.”

Geordi sighed. “You’re probably right. I can barely keep my eyes open.” he said, standing. Stumbling slightly, he steadied himself against the bed.

“Whoa, hey,” Crusher said, grabbing his other arm. “Take it easy. There’s no rush.”

Slowly, Dr. Crusher walked with Geordi towards the door. As it slid open, he glanced back one last time at the operating bed and froze.

“Geordi? Are you alright?” Crusher asked, as Geordi turned. 

“Data,” he breathed, a smile growing. 

Crusher sighed and turned to retrieve Geordi. “I know you want him to wake—” 

“No, Doctor, look!” A moment of giddy laughter escaped from Geordi’s throat.

Data was sitting up, eyes open, and looking right at Geordi. Then, with what seemed to be considerable effort, he spoke. “What… happened?”

“We found you in Engineering after you ejected the warp core. The kinoplasmic radiation messed with your systems, and I think you got shocked by one of the consoles.”

Data’s head cocked to the side. “Kinoplasmic radiation. A relatively rare form of radiation that adversely affects advanced electrical systems.”

Slowly, Geordi’s smile faded. “Yeah, that’s right. Are you feeling ok?”

“I am an android. I am incapable of feeling.”

Geordi swallowed. “Right.”

Stepping up beside him, Crusher spoke. “Data, can you stand up?” Stiffly, Data swung his legs down and stood. “Well that’s good at least,” she said softly to Geordi. He nodded, not trusting his voice.

“You are a doctor. Doctor Crusher,” Data stated, looking at her. His gaze shifted. “And you are Geordi.”

Geordi’s shoulders relaxed a tiny bit. “Yeah. Yeah, I am. Do you know where you are?”

“I am in Sickbay, on board the USS Enterprise. Commander Riker is acting captain.” 

“Yes, he is,” Dr. Crusher said, looking at him curiously. “Can you walk?”

As answer, Data easily walked towards them, stopping three feet in front of Geordi. “You were correct. I was attempting to clear the radiation from Engineering, when one of the consoles sparked. Thank you for finding me. We should inform Commander Riker that I am able to return to duty.”

“Oh no you don’t,” Dr. Crusher interjected. “You need to take it easy until we know for sure that you’re completely recovered. We can talk tomorrow, but for today, get some rest. _Both_ of you. Doctor’s orders.”

Geordi smiled. “Yes, sir.”

 

——

 

“Geordi, why did Dr. Crusher tell you to rest as well?” Data asked as he and Geordi approached their rooms.

“I, uh, I was up all last night trying to get your matrix working again,” he replied, glancing down and rubbing the back of his neck.

“Why?”

Geordi stopped dead in his tracks and stared at him. “‘ _Why’?_ Because I care about you, that’s why!” He glanced around the hall at the passing officers and entered Data’s room, pulling the android in behind him. “I wasn’t about to just sit around while you were hurt. I had to do _something_.”

“But harming yourself by not sleeping would not have helped me. That was not wise."

"Dammit, Data, sometimes our emotions make us do things that 'are not wise'! Emotions aren't logical, you know that. But sometimes our emotions are what keep us from doing stupid, reckless things that might seem to be the 'logical' decision!" Geordi sighed. "Data, you almost died in there. I wasn't about to let that happen to my best friend." Geordi fell quiet and sat heavily on the couch. Jumping onto his lap, Spot rubbed her head on his hand. Geordi complied and scratched her head absentmindedly.

Data sat on the other side of the couch and faced him. "Did you think that my decision to be the one to eject the warp core was reckless?"

"I don't know. I don't know what I would have done if I were in your situation, but the fact that you did it without any... thought or consideration for how it would make the rest of us feel. How it would make me feel. That's what scared me, Data. Fear is what keeps us alive. Love and companionship are what make it worth being alive. Even if they make us do the wrong thing at times."

"I see. You want me to turn my emotion chip back on?”

"Of course I do."

"Why did you not do so when I was in Sickbay? Then you would have guaranteed that I would, to quote Counselor Troi, 'deal with my feelings in an emotionally healthy way'."

“Data…" Geordi slowly shook his head. “Do you really think I would do that? What kind of friend would I be if I forced you to turn it on before you were ready?"

"I see." Data was quiet for a moment. "I believe I will take the advice that you and the Counselor have given me.” 

“You’re… going to turn it back on? Right now?”

“Yes. I assume that because you have wanted me to turn it on for the past three days, you would not want me to wait any longer. I do have until tomorrow before Dr. Crusher will allow me to return to duty.”

“Right. Should I call Counselor Troi?”

“I would prefer it if you were the only one here. In my experience, emotions are often very personal.” 

“Yeah, they are.” He was quiet for a moment. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes, Geordi. I am.” Data adjusted on the couch so he was sitting with his back square against the cushion. His head twitched, and he sat motionless.

After a few moments, Geordi leaned forward and looked at him closely. “Data, are you ok? Did it— did the radiation damage it?”

Finally, Data slowly shook his head ‘no’. “Geordi, I… I could have done something. If I had scanned more closely for instability in the rock, this never would have happened. I should have made sure that the cliff was stable before the captain went over there.”

Shaking his head, Geordi placed his hand on Data’s shoulder. “This wasn’t your fault; it wasn’t anyone’s fault. There’s nothing you could have done.”

Abruptly, Data stood, startling Spot, who jumped to the ground as Geordi’s hand fell off of his shoulder. “But I should have done something _more!_ I could have gone to Sickbay to help,” he said, pacing.

“You know as well as I do there’s no way Dr. Crusher would have let you, or anyone else, into Sickbay. There’s no point in thinking about what we could have done differently; it’s not going to change anything. I’m no therapist, but I know for a fact this isn’t what Counselor Troi meant.”

Data spun to face him, holding his arms out, palms up. “Then what? What am I _supposed_ to do?” he practically yelled, on the verge of tears.

Geordi looked down. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.” He paused, then reached to pick up the book that had been sitting on the table. “Hey, isn’t this the book Captain Picard gave you?”

Glancing at the book, Data swallowed, then nodded. “It is one of my favorite books. He thought that it would help me to understand more of what it is to be human.” He walked back to the couch and sat close to Geordi. 

“Did it help?”

“Yes.” He was quiet for a moment. “It is curious,” he said softly. “Although the book did describe the grief of losing someone important to you, the experience of it is…” He shook his head.

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” 

A comfortable silence filled the room, and Spot jumped back onto the couch, this time settling herself on Data’s lap. A few moments later, Data took a ragged breath. Geordi glanced at him so see some sort of chemical on his friend’s face.

“Data, are you alright? Are you… crying?”

He took another breath. “I was thinking about how much the captain gave me. Not just this book. Many captains were uncomfortable with the idea of an android officer, particularly a high ranking one. He gave me a unique opportunity.” Data reached up and wiped his cheek.

Geordi nodded. “He did the same for me. A lot of people were skeptical at the idea of a blind engineer, even with my visor.”

“Yes. He also helped me understand more of what it means to be human, and I… I would never be able to thank him enough for that.”

“I’m sure he knew—“ Geordi yawned. “Ugh, sorry, Data.”

Data rotated to face him. “No, I am sorry. I should not have kept you. Would you like to go back to your quarters?”

Waving his hand, Geordi stifled another yawn. “No, I can stay here if you want me to. It’s really not a big deal. I pulled worse all-nighters at the Academy.”

“If you are certain,” Data said, returning to his previous position. “It is nice having you here. Thank you for staying.”

Geordi smiled sleepily. “Anything for you, Data.”

Data looked down at the book still in his hands. It was in good condition, albeit slightly worn from the times it had been read and reread, both by Data and Captain Picard. He sighed as he ran his hand over the intricate stitching in the leather cover. Suddenly he felt the weight of Geordi leaning on his shoulder. Curious, he set down the book and looked at him. He was breathing evenly and more deeply than normal.

“Geordi?” he asked quietly.

There was no response. Quietly, Data picked up his friend and easily carried him over to the sleeping area of his quarters. Placing Geordi on the precisely made bed, Data draped the covers over him. Data gently removed his visor, setting it on the bedside table. Returning to the couch, Data opened the book. On the inside of the cover was an inscription in precise handwriting:

 

_For Data._

_From Captain Jean-Luc Picard._

_May you grow ever closer to your goal of humanity._


End file.
